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Les 15 perles du patron de Ryanair

Date de publication: 20 sept. 2012
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La compagnie de transports low-cost Ryanair est dans la tourmente. Les critiques affluent de toutes parts: les pilotes seraient trop jeunes et inexpérimentés, souvent fatigués par le rythme soutenu des trajets à effectuer sur une journée. Pour voyager léger, la quantité de carburant de l'avion serait tout pile celle du trajet: des avions ont récemment dû atterir en urgence, à court de kérosène. Pour ne rien arranger, des passagers ont été légèrement blessés dans un avion Ryanair pendant une zone de turbulence...

En réaction, l'Espagne a demandé l'autorisation de contrôler plus étroitement la compagnie à bas prix. Mais le patron de Ryanair, Michael O'Leary, s'y oppose farouchement. Celui-ci est un patron plutôt atypique. Il est en tout cas le roi des déclarations fortes et provocantes. L'Irlandais "habille" rarement ses propos du politiquement correct ambient. Les uns adorent, les autres détestent. Le phénomène ne laisse pas indifférent .

Retour sur quinze citations légendaires du patron de la compagnie qui a mis les voyages en Europe à la portée de toutes les bourses. Michael O'Leary n'épargne personne: employés, clients, consultants... Nous les avons laissé en anglais, c'est encore plus savoureux. 

1. Sa vision du service après-vente:
"If a plane is canceled will we put you up in an hotel overnight? Absolutely not. If a plane is delayed will we give you a voucher for a restaurant? Absolutely not.”

2. A propos des plaintes de la clientèle:
"If you want a quiet flight, use another airline. Our flights are noisy, full and we are always trying to sell you something."

3. A propos des plaintes de la clientèle (2):
"We don't want to hear your sob stories. What part of 'no refund' don't you understand?"

4. A propos des passagers en surcharge pondérale:
"Nobody wants to sit beside a really fat ****** on board. We have been frankly astonished at the number of customers who don't only want to tax fat people but torture them."

5. A propos de la récession :
"We would welcome a good, deep, bloody recession in this country for 12 to 18 months ... It would help see off the environmental nonsense."

6. A propos de la récession (2) :
"We need a recession. We have had 10 years of growth. A recession gets rid of crappy loss-making airlines and it means we can buy aircraft more cheaply."

7. A propos du salaire des pilotes:
"People ask how we can have such low fares. I tell them our pilots work for nothing."

8. A propos du changement climatique:
"Do I believe there is global warming? No, I believe it's all a load of bullshit. But it's amazing the way the whole fucking eco-warriors and the media have changed. It used to be global warming, but now, when global temperatures haven't risen in the past 12 years, they say 'climate change'."

"Well, hang on, we've had an ice age. We've also had a couple of very hot spells during the Middle Ages, so nobody can deny climate change. But there's absolutely no link between man-made carbon, which contributes less than 2 per cent of total carbon emissions (and climate change)."

9. A propos des consultants:
“I believe hiring consultants is an abdication by management of their responsibilities. If the consultant is so good at managing change, then why not hire him to run the company and do it himself? Every idiot who gets fired in the industry shows up as a consultant somewhere. I would shoot any consultant who came through my door.”

10. A propos des toilettes payantes en cabine:
"All this pious stuff about ... you can't charge for entering the toilet. All right then, we'll charge you to exit the toilets."

11. A propos des toilettes payantes en cabine (2):
"If someone wanted to pay £5 to go to the toilet I would carry them myself. I would wipe their bums for a fiver."

12. A propos de ses intentions pour les vols transatlantiques:
"In economy no frills; in business class it'll all be free - including the blowjobs."

13. A propos du tourisme
" I don't give a toss where people want to go. I'm in the business of creating a market for people to go where they have never heard of."

14. A propos de sa popularité
"I don't give a ***** if no-one likes me. I am not a cloud bunny, I am not an aerosexual. I don't like aeroplanes. I never wanted to be a pilot like those other platoons of goons who populate the airline industry."

15. A propos de la classe sociale de ses passagers
"Do we carry rich people on our flights? Yes, I flew on one this morning and I'm very rich."